Heart-to-Heart Connection

To inspire and be inspired!

Friendships of Women — Bold, Beautiful, and Overcoming the Ugly

How would you, as a woman, describe your friendship with other women?

Here are my thoughts (love to hear yours):

The Bold & Beautiful Friendships

  • Women care.  We nurture and empathize.
  • Women bond by sharing their innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities
  • Women often serve as “glues” holding families, friendships, and important relationships together (yes, we remember birthdays, schedule, plan, and execute social gatherings and events, send greeting cards, pick out presents, etc., etc., etc.)

The Ugly Friendships of Women

  • Little girls have clubs.  Women have cliques.
  • Newcomers are outsiders looking in until they prove themselves worthy of membership.
  • Women gossip.  Women back stab.  Right or wrong, women stick up for one another.

I wish I could say I’m making this up.  But I’m not.  (see Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work)

How about this?  Could friendships of three possibly thrive among insecure hearts?:

Hi Ramona.  Would you like to be best friends?  I like you better than I like Holly.  I don’t like Holly anymore.  Let’s not like Holly together.  Kate

I’m not posting to dwell on the negatives.  On the contrary, I’d like to seek your input and advice on how we women can stop the dysfunctional and destructive cycle of co-dependency — tightening our circle of friends at the expense of betrayal and exclusion.

Dee Brestin, in The Friendships of Women, shares her wisdom and insights on this topic:

  • An emotionally dependent relationship — excessive possessiveness, jealousy, desire for exclusion, viewing others as threats to the friendship — produces bondage.
  • We need to learn to be dependent, leaning on God, because He’s the only 0ne who will never betray us or die or move away.
  • Love covers over a multitude of sins. “Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:20)  When your anger is healed, ask the Lord to help you plan your words.
  • “Tell your friend what you are feeling and then what you want to happen between you.” (Clarice Rose, Retreat Speaker) Otherwise, confrontation is likely to be misinterpreted as a personal attack rather than an effort to improve the relationship.

Conflicts and challenges are opportunities for growth.

“The Friendships of Women is an outstanding book, one that ought to be read by every family, certainly by every woman in the family.”  (Dr. James C. Dobson)

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May 30, 2009 - Posted by | Attitude, Book Review, Business, Change, Christianity, Compassion, Education, God, Health and Wellness, Heart, Introspection, Leadership, Marriage, Mind, Peace, People, Purpose, Self Help, Spirit, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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