Heart-to-Heart Connection

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Boundaries With Teens — Don’t Be A Pushover (5/10)

Parenting teens — disrespect, aggression, argumentative, academic problems, alcohol and drugs — there’s never a dull moment!

Most teens go through the above to a greater or lesser degree; after all, teens test authority, boundaries, and during that process learn who they are and how the world works.

So what’s a parent to do?

Stay proactive, informed, and involved.  That’s what Dr. John Townsend would say.  His additional insights include:

  • Model and Empathize — teens feel more secure in managing their own emotions and expressing them as words when they see parents appropriately articulating range of emotions
  • Clarify Expectations — the less ability your teen has to self-monitor and self-correct, the more external structure/routine he needs from the outside, until he has internalized that structure for himself.
  • Enforce Consequences — consistently implement consequences (which matter to the teen) that fit the “crime.”  After all, that’s how the real-world works; the world of cause and effect (e.g., disrespect resulting in loss of privilege to hang out with friends for one evening).
  • Seek Professional Help — professional help and rehabilitation centers remain the final options.

Bottom line, don’t be a pushover.  Adults are not teens’ friends.  Our job and privilege is to “love and help our children live within the parameters of reasonable realities” — yes, equip and empower our kiddos for the challenges of adulthood.

Whew!  Parenting — it’s the hardest, most rewarding job in the world!  🙂

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September 14, 2009 - Posted by | Attitude, Body, Book Review, Change, Compassion, Education, Health and Wellness, Heart, Introspection, Love, Mind, Purpose, Self Help, Soul, Spirit, Spirituality, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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