Heart-to-Heart Connection

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The Engaging Leader: Winning with Today’s Free Agent Workforce

“People don’t quit their jobs, they quit their bosses.  Skilled people want to work for winning leaders.  Grade A talent wants to work for Grade A leadership.  It won’t settle for less.”

In The Engaging Leader, Dr. Ed Gubman communicates how to draw out employees’ enthusiasm and commitment; how to retain and nurture companies’ most prized and priceless assets — employees:

  • Engaging leaders are drivers and buildersDrivers are decisive decision makers; putting results first, stress the bottom line, and crack the whip (maintaining pressure on accountability and come down hard when goals aren’t met).
  • Builders put people and process first.  Builders are relationship-oriented.  Builders let solutions emerge, take a long-term focus, stay behind the scenes more, and are more positive than critical. (They are, by no means, indecisive.  Builders possess goals and visions.  They rely on natural consequences vs. immediate consequences by an authority).

Engaging leaders know when to be drivers and when to be builders.

Furthermore, Dr. Gubman states, “Employees (talent) want freedom, control, accountability, and caring.” 

  • Freedom — the freedom of expression and the ability to be who you are, not someone you’re not.
  • Control — people enjoy their work when they know what their responsibilities are and have the autonomy to achieve them.  They don’t want to be micromanaged.  Even when what-to-do comes from above, talented employees expect to figure out how to do it themselves.
  • Accountability — giving someone an assignment and holding him or her responsible for delivering results.
  • Caring relationships increase people’s investments in your workplace.  Warm relationships help employees feel connected and will motivate them to work for you — to help you meet your goals.  Employees will confide in personal matters if they feel safe.  They also want some friends in the workplace.

Tough and tender, a loveable task master, realistic optimist … whatever you call it, the intersection of driving and building behaviors is what engages most people. 

Successful leaders learn this in their interactions with people.  They become more versatile, expanding their own styles by taking on some behaviors that are unnatural to them at first, but become second nature as followers reinforce them by responding favorably. 

The ability to incorporate parts of these seeming opposites, like the skill of reconciling group goals and individual needs, will make you an engaging leader and a long-time, big time winner.  (Full Story)



April 11, 2010 Posted by | Attitude, Book Review, Business, Change, Collaboration, Compassion, Dream, Education, Freedom, Fun, Health and Wellness, Heart, Introspection, Leadership, Marketing, Mind, Passion, Peace, Politics, Purpose, Self Help, Soul, Spirit, Spirituality, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Till Debt Do Us Part?

You are much more than your six-figure income!

If you’re like me, you don’t earn anywhere near that. You earn less — a lot less. So what? Does this mean we’re worth less? Are we worthy of existence only when we bring home the ‘fat bacon’?

Meet Amy and Timothy. The couple began falling behind on their mortgage payments after Timothy was laid off from his job. They’re currently $170,000 in debt and losing their home to foreclosure.

Six months ago, Amy took their young daughter Ella and moved back in with her parents. Amy and Timothy’s marriage was “hanging by a thread.”

“We can’t afford to stay together and he’s not welcome to live at my parents’ house. Timothy doesn’t have a job and they find that disrespectful,” said Amy. “As my husband, he’s supposed to be able to take care of a family.”

(I usually keep my opinions out but for this one, I must say … “GROW UP LITTLE GIRL!!! Have you thought about how scared, lonely, and down and depressed your husband might feel right now?! Why can’t you work four jobs and support your family? Clean toilets, serve fast food, pull weeds, and coat roofs. There are jobs galore if you’d only get off your high ungrateful horse!”)

And then there’s Corretta and Sean. Corretta, after losing her corporate executive job and her six-figure income, is now a stay-at-home mom to her three-year-old daughter. Corretta has not only lost her paycheck but more importantly, her self-esteem (Full Story).

(Again, I’m compelled to speak. “What’s wrong with spending time, effort, and energy to nurture the hearts and minds of the next generation? When parents become active participants in children’s lives — when parents spend the time to care, nurture, and discipline — society will save countless dollars running correctional facilities, not to mention significant decrease in crime rate! Kids are parents’ [NOT SOCIETY’S] responsibility. Why not invest in a safer, more humane future?”)

I recall saying my marriage vow, “Till death (NOT DEBT) do us part.”

Thoughts? 🙂

April 11, 2009 Posted by | Attitude, Change, Collaboration, Compassion, Finance, Gratitude, Health and Wellness, Heart, Love, Marriage, Mind, Money, Soul, Spirit, Spirituality, Stress, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What is Success — Find the Joy in Your Life

We come into this world with nothing.  We leave this world with nothing.  And somewhere in between, we become consumed by the glitz and glamor of status and stuff.

But life doesn’t have to be about one-upsmanship and material wealth.

Bucket List is a story of a wealthy hospital administrator and an auto mechanic with nothing in common except terminal illness.  Watch how they come to terms with their reality and with life’s most important treasures:

In the March edition of In Touch, Dr. Charles Stanley states the four harmful effects of pursuit of status:

  • Status is deceptive — status is based on the belief that we can and should compare ourselves to others to validate our self-worth.  God didn’t create us to be superior or inferior.  He created us to be unique and to fulfill His specific purpose for our lives.
  • Status divides — status encourages artificial divisions between people and communities.  Inflated egos believe certain jobs are beneath them.
  • Status hinders God from fully utilizing our gifts and potentials — we have no business telling the Lord what we will or will not do when He asks us to obey (Joseph served in prison for many years.  He didn’t think working as a prisoner was beneath him.)
  • Status is disappointing — beauty, intelligence, wealth, creativity — all disappear.  Why spend so much time trying to compete and outdo others?  No friends, all enemies.

Dr. Stanley concludes, “God’s leadership is always best.  You trust that even if He sends you to do what is poor and lowly in the world’s eyes, He is working in you to produce fruit that is priceless from the viewpoint of eternity … He calls you to love, serve wherever He sends you to serve, and be all He has created you to be.  Serving God is the only way to truly experience the fulfillment, significance, and joy which your heart yearns.”

Amen!  I’d greatly appreciate your prayers.  My prayers are with you, too.

March 8, 2009 Posted by | Attitude, Collaboration, Compassion, Education, Freedom, God, Gratitude, Health and Wellness, Heart, Introspection, Leadership, Love, Mind, Money, Movie, Peace, Purpose, Soul, Spirit, Spirituality, Stress, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Land Your Dream Job Today!

Unemployed?  Great!  You’ve got nothing to lose and EVERYTHING TO GAIN! Land your dream job today!

Just do what most people aren’t doing.  Yes.  Get those face-to-face meetings.

Don’t request them.  Go get ’em!  Show up at the CEO’s door with your 30 second spiel!

Before anyone could say “Go away,” you’ve introduced AND sold yourself (maybe not the latter but people will give you points for initiative and creativity!  Isn’t that what all employers want — problem-solvers and out-of-the-box thinkers?!).

If you’re desperate and/or an outgoing risk-taker, this approach is for you!  Knocking on doors have opened doors for me (like interviews and my current job).

After being a stay-at-home mom for four years, I was ready to work outside of the home.

I submitted my resume to two school districts.  That was in March. In mid-June, I still hadn’t heard from a soul.

I decided to drive down to the school, “ran into” the custodian, and asked when would be the best time to “run into” the principal.  A week later, I showed up at his door with my portfolio and my 30 second spiel.

The rest is history.  I have THE best job!

There are always ways to get your foot in the doorHow about applying for a custodial position with the local temp agency? Always carry your portfolio.  Double bag the trash cans and place the Ziplocked portfolio between two bags.

Clean the CEO or Human Resource manager’s office for a month or so, establish rapport with employees, learn about the company, go to the lunch room and look at the postings for different positions, talk to people and find out which departments are hiring, etc., etc.

When you’re ready, “run into” the decision makers with your 30 second spiel.  Get your camcorder rolling and show your portfolio — in 30 seconds!  Before the big shots can say, “I’m too busy,” they would have seen your video — your masterpiece!

Unemployed?  You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Go get ’em! (see also Jobless But Working)

PS — Share your success stories today!

March 7, 2009 Posted by | Attitude, Business, Change, Health and Wellness, Mind, Passion, Purpose, Spirit, Stress, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to be Your Best Friend

When life is great, everyone’s on your side.  When life is the pits, who’s on your side?

In the past, I used to beat myself up throughout my deepest, darkest moments …  Not any more.  When things get really ugly, I stick up for me (if I don’t, who will?  The slight thought of abandonment scares me).  I resort to good old self-compassion.

We’re all human.

Everyone loses it from time to time (some more than others.  Acknowledging my emotions and pain is how I stay sane).  If you can’t relate, fear not.  Your turn will come.

Humans are all screw ups.  We’re equal.

Feel the pain, let it all out, feel better, then move on!  We’ve all been there.

The last time I saw my shrink (about 8 years ago), I didn’t know I had depression.  She tried to comfort me — telling me I was special — just for being me.

I thought SHE was the nutcase, not me.  But now that I’m more sane (yes, the generic Prozac keeps me chemically balanced), I realize the best thing to do and say to others is to accept, comfort, and empathize.

(Judgments are lethal.  That could easily push people over the edge).

Learning to be more loving toward you also brings out your tenderness — extending that compassion to others and, in the process, making this world a kinder place.

I’m my best friend.  I’m worth it!

Who’s your best friend? … You’re worth it!

Full Story

February 4, 2009 Posted by | Attitude, Compassion, Health and Wellness, Heart, Introspection, Love, Mind, Peace, Soul, Spirit, Success | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment