Help! Ten Ways to Resolve Workplace Conflict?!

If I can become wiser eating articles, I would.  But life’s never that easy.  Even I know I can’t change others, only myself.

A friend once said, “The average learns from others’ mistakes.  Idiots never learn.  Unresolved issues will resurface until given the proper attention they deserve.”

As I get older I’m supposed to be getting wiser, so remaining stupid is not an option — implementing ineffective conflict resolution techniques result in nothing but precious time wasted.

So what do you do when you work for an incompetent inner-city school principal lacking spine and leadership skills, where kids rule, who believes gossip can’t be helped — it’s just human nature?!

In desperation, I sought wisdom online.  I stumbled on ten helpful tips (I can certainly use more.  I’d greatly appreciate your input!):

1. Be specific in formulating your complaints. “I’m never invited to meetings” is not as effective as “I believe I would have been able to contribute some ideas at last Thursday’s marketing meeting.”
2. Resist the temptation to involve yourself in conflicts that do not directly involve you or your responsibilities.
3. Try to depersonalize conflicts. Instead of a “me versus you” mentality, visualize an “us versus the problem” scenario. This is not only a more professional attitude, but it will also improve productivity and is in the best interests of the company (A coworker whom I respect and admire shared this priceless tidbit with me.  Her advice has been a life saver!).
4. Be open and listen to others’ points of view and reflect back to the person as to what you think you heard. This important clarification skill leads to less misunderstanding, with the other person feeling heard and understood.
5. Don’t always involve your superiors in conflict resolution.  (We’re adults.  We solve our problems — yeah right.  I wouldn’t be writing this post if I had all the answers.)
6. If an extended discussion is necessary, agree first on a time and place to talk.  Take it outside and away from the group of inquisitive coworkers if they’re not involved in the problem (some, unfortunately, thrive on gossip).
7. Limit your complaints to those directly involved in the workplace conflict. Character assassination is unwarranted.  “He missed last week’s deadline” is OK; “He’s a total idiot” is not.
8. Know when conflict isn’t just conflict. If conflict arises due to sexual, racial, or ethnic issues, it’s harassment. Take action and discuss the problem with your supervisor or human resources department.
9. Consider a mediator if the problem gets out of control, or if the issue is too emotional to resolve in a mutual discussion.
10. Take home point: It’s not all about you — You may think it’s a personal attack, but maybe your co-worker is just having a bad day. Take time to think BEFORE you speak in response to an insensitive remark. It may be that saying nothing is the best response.

(Full Story)

Thoughts? 🙂

True Love Amidst Prostate Cancer

Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

Dana and Deb Jennings, I know, would agree.

Last April, Dana was diagnosed with shockingly aggressive prostate cancer. Since then, Dana had his prostate removed and have undergone 33-session course of radiation.

Throughout this ordeal, Deb., wife of 33-years, stood firmly by her man.

Dana recalls, “Deb helped me change and drain my catheter pouches each day when I first came home from the hospital … measured my urine, peered into placed I couldn’t — literally and figuratively — and strategically and liberally applied baby powder, ice, and Aquaphor to my raw and aching body.  She battled our intractable insurer, networked, tracked down the right doctors, and took thorough notes all the while … I was wounded.  She protected me.  She chose to do these things.”

Wow!

“Deb’s love is one to live up to, one to reciprocate.  Who else is going to snuggle up to me on the couch, smile, listen — and nod knowingly — as I complain about my hot flashes? … In the long shadow of prostate cancer, I’ve learned I married the right woman.”

Full Story

Face Fear Head On!

Rhonda Britten, founder of the FEARLESS living INSTITUTE,  have inspired millions to move forward; encouraging and giving people the tools necessary to face their fears head on!

According to Rhonda , “Creativity is messy.  Life is messy.  Trust and believe in yourself!”

Having witnessed her parents’ murder-suicide at age 14, Rhonda has just about seen it all.  With Rhonda, no topic is off limits.

Though her life took a course that seemed to leave this violent tragedy behind, her traumatic past eventually began to haunt her.  When she found the courage to fight back the demons, her self-healing journey began and her career helping others took off (NBC).  Full Story

So my New Year’s Resolution is to rid myself of fear and insecurities — accept myself for who I am, where I’m at, and run my own race; to love and embrace my being and become my best friend.

Following Rhonda’s advice, I will:

1. List 100 gratitudes for 2008 — heartwarming moments, fun times, embracing the wonders of nature, a roof over my head — anything!  There’s so much to be grateful for!
2. List 100 acknowledgements for me and my deeds for 2008; acquiring new skills, problem-solving differently, emotional and spiritual growth (no matter how small they may be — like not becoming offended when a driver cuts me off; actually, for me, this is HUGE).
3. List three intentions for 2009 —  be more loving, eat healthy, exercise consistently.

How about you?

These goals will “Get you ready to enter this new year with less fear, more hope, and more you. Your willingness to do the work proves your devotion to yourself. Your completion of the work gives you a path and a firmer foundation to walk into the unknown called 2009. Together, we will become fearless!” (Rhonda)

Christmas Blessings

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them, or even touch them on the shoulder … you are blessed because you can offer a healing touch.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish somewhere, you are among the top 8 percent of the world’s wealthy.

If you wake up this morning with more health than illness … you are more blessed than the millions who will not survive this week.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong.  Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. ~ George Washington Carver

Merry Christmas.